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  • Writer's pictureTiffany Crowe

Wondering If My Positive Pants Still Fit

"When you have a bad day, a really bad day, try to treat the world better than it treated you" - Patrick Stump (if you don't know, he's the lead singer of Fall Out Boy)

Yikes! It's been over a week since I last posted. I haven't been feeling the greatest this past week. By that I mean I have been feeling down to the point where I really don't feel like talking on the phone, doing much around the house aside from sleeping, you know...feeling sorry for myself type of days. I don't choose to feel like this and I should probably be more conscious of taking my medicine that may help my moods but with all the other handfuls of prescriptions that I am on, sometimes the ones that can't send me into withdrawals slip my mind. Not an excuse, I know. Just being honest. I think I have 7 medication alarms on my phone a day, and just downloaded "Round Health" which is an app to track my meds and sets off alarms so that has been helpful.

I found a list of simple things to do when you feel like shit (blame the title, not my trucker mouth), it's a Buzzfeed article you can find here! Remember, even little things can have a big impact on your mood.

For the great update: I finally started my radiation and chemotherapy on Monday. It was determined that my spine doesn't need to be treated at this time (WOO HOO!) so I will only be receiving radiation to my brain which is great and I am thrilled about that. What I am not thrilled about is having to go BACK on steroids. Yesterday I woke up with a pretty bad headache, I have had a lingering one all week but not bad enough to do anything about. This one wasn't great and I was nauseous. We got to the hospital for my treatment and I threw up, then threw up about 4 more times once I got home. I couldn't eat or drink without feeling sick or throwing it up. Just absolutely miserable. I called the radiation nurse in the afternoon who recommended I get back on my steroids because I was most likely experiencing symptoms from the treatment due to swelling. I really don't want to be on these, as you all know if you read my previous posts. I'm not looking forward to getting a moon face again and gaining more weight than I have but honestly it's better than laying in bed all day long feeling like absolute garbage.

I am, however, happy and thankful for everyone who is helping me through this shit. My stepmom has been here all week and is taking me to my treatments and then we have breakfast, run errands, etc. She has been super great and allows me to have human interaction rather than just puppy interaction. Curtis is always great support except he wouldn't let me get a Hot N Ready last night so I had to settle for macaroni & cheese ;) My mom will be here next week to help as well! Almost 1 week down, only 5 1/2 to go.

I did find out that if I do experience hair loss, it will probably start within the 3rd or 4th week based on the answers I received from other patients in one of the FB forums. Does anyone know how to tie a scarf or little turban thing? If so, let me know! I found youtube videos and try but my left hand is still pretty week so any tips or tricks will help tremendously.

I promise to update more frequently, even if it's just what my plans are for the week or cool things I have accomplished. If I don't update, it's either that I'm not feeling up to it or I am out of town (which isn't happening unfortunately).


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