Marion & my dad got me a sweet card a couple weeks ago after I was feeling down so I hope it brings smiles to your faces like it did to mine:
If you’re wondering “and so what begins”, take a breath, relax, and continue reading on. I asked in one of the tumor forums when other individuals started to lose their hair during treatment and the general consensus was around week 3 & 4. Well, I have just completed my third week of treatment and I can say that that information was more than accurate. My hair is coming out like crazy. Ok, not like ‘I’m now bald’ crazy but chunks of strands come out every time I brush or run my hands through my hair. It’s safe to say right now that the hair is mainly coming from the right side which makes sense because that’s where the majority of the radiation is directed. It’s quite comical actually and I’m kind of obsessed with pulling the chunks out. Strange? Maybe. It only gets awkward when I’m not near a garbage can to dispose of the dead locks. I mean what do I do? Put them in my pocket for later. Gabby said to hairspray it back in (insert hysterically laughing emoji). Maybe I’ll start saving all the hair and try that next week. For now I have just been taking pictures because I’m slightly demented and wanted to document every bit of this journey. Enjoy the following hairballs J
Documented to show the loss has increased throughout the week:
I really want to know the end result of this phase. I’m ready to go for a buzz (or should I call it a pixie to sound more feminine) so if my hair is going to be randomly thin and patchy, that’s what I’m going to do. That sounds like the easiest solution to me, to make it all one length and allow for it to grow back together. Based on my current mindset, I don't want to wear a wig. I want the cute, trendy head scarf look. There are so many awesome styles and so many scarves you can get to go with all of your outfits. Also, I have read a lot where other women shaved their head for many reasons, some medical but not all, and they say it’s liberating and made them feel so powerful. They even kept their hair short for some time following. I think I need that feeling in my life, but I’m not going to force it just to see if it helps. We will see what my hair does and what my body wants to do.
Now for my current situation at 12:25 PM on Friday. I should be sitting on the double decker Mega Bus on my way to Chicago, connected to wifi, updating my blog followed by Netflixing & Chilling. Is that happening? Sort of. Not on a Mega Bus, though. Not on a double decker which means my reserved seat went out the window (almost quite literally because I reserved the front row seat of the upper deck), and I’m pretty sure the wifi does not work so I’m currently staying busy by creating this post via Microsoft Word and will upload once I am able to access the internet. Things to be happy about in this situation: I snagged the seat behind the driver, I found my phone charger after getting down to about 20% battery, I don’t have anyone sitting next to me (knock on every piece of wood in this bus and the city of Ann Arbor), I have my Surface to use to type this post up, I have snacks in my bag next to me, I got a Sugar Free Red Bull from the Red Bull girls in Detroit. Not so good: two out of three of the straps on my bag broke but as long as the cross body doesn’t break then we will be good, I kind of half to pee but I don’t want to walk to the back of the bus and leave my things unattended. I guess right behind the driver is the safest and I could ask man bun to watch my stuff for a second. After all, I don’t need to ask him for his phone charger anymore so he should be happy. Man bun is the guy across the aisle from me. FUNNY STORY, he just got up to go to the bathroom and asked me to watch his stuff so boo-yah, he owes me a watch.
I’m trying to figure out where everyone on this bus is going in Chicago or why they are going but I’m not too good at this game so I make up my own stories. The only events I know of this weekend are LollaPalooza and the American Brain Tumor Conference. Half of these people on this bus don’t necessarily fit the mold for either of these events, so I really have nothing on them. We just stopped at the station in Ann Arbor to pick up a handful and I’m pretty sure they’re Lolla-goers based on their general appearance and yes I am judging. I would judge me if I didn’t know me and I’m kind of slobby right now so I think I would assume my final destination was Lolla. Not too slobby, but not in real pants or anything. I’m into the ‘comfy’ look nowadays. Probably because I don’t like how any of my clothes fit, or they don’t fit at all. Here’s to the last weekend of eating what I want (kind of) and starting next week I really need to buckle down and lose 30 lbs. I need a meal plan. I need self-control. Two things I have no idea how to come across, especially the latter. I must say though, my obsession with ice cream has gotten better or at least more under control. Instead of eating ice cream at night when I crave it, I make a yogurt parfait and eat that instead. It’s delicious and a healthy alternative.
GENIUS IDEA BREAKTHROUGH!!! One negative from above turned into a positive. I remembered I can make my phone a hotspot & connect my computer to the Wifi. Tried it. Great success! Now I will continue to update on the blog site rather than Word. Hold Please.
Back and in business. I do want to say that it smells like fast food on this bus and not in a good way. A bunch of people we picked up in Midtown had Rallys which usually smells appetizing, at least to me but not right now. Maybe if I condition myself to think french fries smell like vomit I won't like that stuff anymore. Maybe then I should get rid of my shirt that says "Fries before guys" which I am coincidentally wearing right now. Never mind, the more I think about it the worse that idea sounds.
I want to provide a quick update on my life over the past week and some cool accomplishments before I end this:
I finished not one but TWO books. Seriously a record for me. One book I wanted to highlight on and highly recommend to anyone who loves reading quick, witty, real-life stories. A friend wrote it while she was undergoing her treatment for brain cancer. It is called "Nobody Loves a Farting Princess" and is great. I learned so much about her while reading, and even discovered how much we have in common. Apparently brain tumors are biased towards Taurus' born on May 20 who went to YMCA camp and Groves High School. Jk. But that's the humor that keeps me going. The image of her book is below and you can buy it on AMAZON! She published the book and everything, she's pretty awesome.
I also finished "We: How to Increase Performance and Profits Through Full Engagement" which was great. I'm nerdy and those are the books I like to read.
In my last post I talked about how my dad created the Go Fund Me page for my medical bills. I wanted to touch on this. I'm still trying to figure out how this works in terms of thanking everyone, what I do, how I show the level of appreciation and gratefulness that has come over me. It's been tough, accepting what others are just giving me. Until I can figure out how to thank everyone, please know that I am thankful for each and every individual donation. The stress of medical bills and juggling my normal bills has been temporarily eliminated and is playing a major part in my fight and healing process. What I have done to properly manage this money is open a separate account only for those funds so I can track them and know I am ONLY spending that money on what it is for, my medical bills. I am proud of myself for doing this, and it makes me confident that even $5 of the money won't be spent on something it's not meant for. For anyone who would like to continue helping, you can find the link below again<link removed>.
Now I will sit back on this bus, enjoy the rest of the ride, will wave & blow a kiss as we pass through Kalamazoo, and Netflix & chill until I arrive at the final destination....CHICAGO!!